Leadership Lessons from a Folk Musician

Have you ever gone blank when you’re in the spotlight?

I was recently chatting with a client whose brain completely froze while presenting their organization’s new strategic plan. A team member had only asked a question, but they suddenly couldn’t think of an answer. 

Maybe you’ve been there too as a leader. It feels like all eyes are on you to make a decision, but you are stuck. Your brain stalls out. You might have a sense of fear or feel self-consciousness. You might even notice some signs of stress within your body—increased heart rate, brain fog, shallow breathing, or tense muscles. You might wish you could power through the moment, but you genuinely can’t. 

In our conversation, my client was feeling extremely frustrated and being self-critical because they felt like a “huge idiot” and doubted their leadership skills. They had replayed the moment over in their mind a million times. They came to me seeking solutions to improve their memory and recall in stressful situations, but I offered a different perspective. 

Leaders Don’t Have to Know It All

As a leader, you might sometimes fall into the trap of thinking you are one who has to have all the answers. Your success has been related to your knowledge. The dark side of high achievement is the pressure you put on yourself to meet the impossibly high expectations of knowing all the things all of the time.

Losing Your Way Doesn’t Feel Great

I was recently at a folk music festival watching a much loved and award-winning Canadian musician who made a similar mistake. She was midway through her set and made a spur-of-the-moment decision to take a request from a fan in the crowd. The song was an oldie but a goodie, an original of hers that she had surely performed a million times over the years.

She started strong with the first verse and the chorus, but when she got to the moment when the second verse should have started, she blanked. She strummed the right chords, but none of the words came to mind.

When in doubt, try again.

The musician chuckled and tried again. She remained calm and relaxed (at least that’s how it looked on the outside). She circled back to the chorus and tried to establish some mental momentum to launch herself into the second verse. But again, nothing. The words were just not there.

We All Need A Little Help from our Friends 

She kept playing the chords on her ukulele, looked out at the audience, and said, “Someone must remember the next line. C’mon, help a gal out.”

And someone did. A fan near the front of the stage shouted the next line, “I will feel the seasons change and shift around the coats!” 

The crowd cheered. My beloved folk songstress smiled in relief, shouting, “Yes, thank you!!” and was back on track.  

She might not have realized it, but in that moment, she was demonstrating a leadership superpower. In those moments when it feels like all eyes are on you to have the answer, you can admit you don’t know and ask for help. 

You Can Ask for Help Too

Great leaders ask for help. They know that great gifts can come from asking for and receiving support from others and they create opportunities for others to contribute in this way. 

So here’s the invitation: next time you feel stuck in the spotight and aren’t sure what to say or do next, channel your inner folk musician.

• Step 1: Feel the feelings. Let yourself feel any uncomfortable feelings that arise. Take a deep breath. 

• Step 2: Blow your own cover. Be honest about your limitations in the moment. Admit what you do and don’t know. 

• Step 3: Show your humanity. Be vulnerable. Accept  your loveable, imperfect, fully human self. Use a bit of humor and laugh about it.

• Step 4: Ask for help. Invite those present to help you fill in the gaps or offer their perspective.

• Step 5: Accept the suggestions. Feel an immense sense of gratitude for the wisdom and expertise of others. Realize you are building trust and strengthening the bonds within your team. 

• Step 6: Pause to celebrate together. A quick high-five and moment of gratitude can help soak in the feeling of success. 

Stronger Together

We often celebrate individual accomplishment and look to leaders to know it all. However, as a leader, you are also human. There will be moments when your brain freezes and the answers you want to communicate won’t come to mind. 

You don’t have to be perfect. You can forget the words. Let your team be there for you.

You’ll make beautiful music together.